The other day, Patricia sent me the following Bioshock Infinite related email:

We were just talking about this gif in chat. We thought it might be cool for there to be a bunch of them with different cool/funny stuff in the back, if you wanted to have at it!

After I stopped giggling like a five year old (tee hee, 'dick butt') I made the following template in Photoshop:


I then emailed team Kotaku and asked them what telegram they wanted Booker DeWitt to receive.


Patricia suggested that one of them be Bioshaq themed:

Jason suggested the following:



This was my first attempt:


You have the constant, now we want to know the variable: What telegram do you want Bioshock Infinite's Booker DeWitt to receive? Post your response in the comments.

(Original GIF via Reddit)