Why do people who have a combination of the names Paul and Ryan always end up being a steaming pile of garbage?
CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Wednesday that an online article is feeling nauseous from constantly scrolling. “Oh God, I don’t feel so good,” the 75-word news piece reportedly thought as it was violently and repeatedly sent flying up and then back down the website’s homepage. “Please, please make it stop. I think I’m…
With careful planning and prudent financial decisions, many Americans could retire before 65. The Onion weighs the pros and cons of such a decision:
In an election where voters feel faced with an unappealing ultimatum, many are considering skipping the polls altogether. The Onion presents a side-by-side comparison of voting and abstaining.
Hey, as much as I hate to preach, now is the time when I have to get on the old soapbox: No more Futura Bold Condensed! I mean, really! It’s such a precocious little font. I know it seems chic and irresistible, but show some restraint! People are using it everywhere, from Surgeon General’s warnings to children’s…
Editorial Director: Josh Modell
The Happytime Murders expands its cast. Get a look at Paul Bettany’s mysterious Han Solo character. Stephen Amell hints at a happier future for Oliver Queen in Arrow’s next season. Plus, the first look at The Magicians’ third season and new clips from Rick and Morty and Kingsman: The Golden Circle. To me, my spoilers!
Aw, who’s a good boy? Who’s a good little boy? Does someone want a belly rub? Does someone want to roll over and let me rub his belly? Who does? Who? Does someone want me to wub his bewwy wewwy wewwy?